So naturally, I am blogging.

The more I think about studying, the more I realise how STUPID it is. Why did I try hard to keep my marks up in high school? To get accepted into a good university. Why am I paying seven grand yearly to stay in school? To earn a degree. What am I going to do with said degree? Find a job and earn a living. What am I going to do with said life? Have kids and send them off to school, and hope they do well. What will I do when they do do well? Die and let them repeat the process I have just completed.
Okay, so I've been called cynical for thinking this way. But really, think about it. It doesn't matter how well I do in school because it doesn't matter what job I get or how much money I earn because of what my qualifications are, because in the end, I'm just going to be buried, decomposed, and part of the earth. (I think I could be more useful as different things; I could be a molecule part of a drug designed to cure someone's illness (not saying that molecules can think or whatnot)) I'm not saying that I won't be going through it, I just find myself wondering, A LOT, what the point in me studying. Sure, it's going to get me a job (hopefully), but all I'm doing is following everyone else. Then I'll die, and that'll be it. How much money I earned, how smart I was, how many tasks I'd accomplished, how many hardships I have to endure, how many loved ones I had: they all don't matter once I'm six feet under.
All my life, it's been about preparing myself for the future: in high school it was about getting into university, going to upwards of thirty hours of class every week so I can get my degree in a few years, getting a degree to get a job, getting a job to save for potential kids (and a retirement plan). Nothing in my life has been about enjoying "now". Do I have to wait until I'm old and retired to start thinking about me and what I want to do "now"?
I'm a terrible student; I can't focus enough to study for evaluations, I fall asleep in class, I'm always putting off doing things, my mind's always on different things, I do things half-assedly, and my marks reflect the amount of work I put in. I'm just caring less and less, and finding myself wanting to be all alone away from idiotic humans more and more.

Oh a separate, more random, note, I often wish I were a guy. They can have such awesome haircuts; male clothes, watches, belts, etc. are so much more awesome; they are taller and just less bothersome (they also talk less. usually). Also, I could ask out the opposite gender without feeling awkward. I would be allowed to pay for the opposite gender without needing a reason, and thus making me less dependent on someone else (who says I can't pay for myself?). I could take on the jerks and give them a piece of my mind when they hurt my friends (or not, if I was of the scrawny asian boy variety). I would not be called unladylike if I burped in public. Most importantly, I am not expected to have a million articles of clothing for every occasion. (They also don't get cramps, but that's not their fault =P) Social stereotypes suck, let's burn them.

I do have a lot more to say, but I get the feeling I should start studying for the midterm I will be writing in less than 12 hours.

I wonder if anyone's reading this?
...

PS. To drink or not to drink at my Wrec next week...