Yep, they're in alright. Okay, I'll admit that they're not THAT great, especially when I compare them to high school marks, but I've long since accepted the fact that my grades are going to take a hit going into university. First term was unpleasant with the thirty hours of classes and labs. I had three courses that were COMPLETELY useless, and on top of physics, that made four courses that I did not particularly enjoy and consequently, didn't do too well in. I ended up with a miserable seventy seven average last term, and I was rather upset. I'd decided that in second term, I'd work harder, and what with the lame courses gone, I actually enjoyed second term a lot more. Sure it was somewhat harder, but I also found it somewhat easier as well. I was determined to increase my average, which my sister said was impossible because I was way off. It required that I get at least 85 in every course, because physics was DEFINITELY going to be bringing DOWN my average, not up. And when I thought about it, it seemed hard. I had to figure out calculus, which I hadn't started off well, and then computers, which I am just NATURALLY bad at, and then there was linear algebra, that ALL my upper years had said would be DISASTEROUS.

Fortunately, I was lucky; lin alg was easy, because they have to teach us things from the beginning. And I ACED the three "midterm" test thingers, and computers class was fine because I had my trusty lab partner. Physics, I will not comment, but I will say THANK GOODNESS FOR BELL CURVES! I managed to acquire an eight percent increase in that WRETCHED course. In the end, I increased my average by five percent, and managed to keep my scholarships.

I was super excited about this fact. I mean, 80 (something like an 3.7 gpa?)? not too shabby for university! Well by my standards. Of course I look at other people who are doing far better than me, and I hope to do that well in the future too. So I was excited, and I told my mom. And what do I get? "That's it? Well just make sure you try harder next year." I was astounded. No congratulation at all. I was expecting the try harder part, but I was also expecting a congratulations of SOME SORT. Like maybe a "good for you!", or a "keep up the good work!". But no. nothing of the sort.
Sometimes I wonder why I try hard at all. Okay, I try some. I went into engineering somewhat because I wanted to impress the family, show them I was capable of SOMETHING, and that it was just my sisters who could find respectable careers. That time when they said our family was the only one with kids that went to university for professional careers out of our extended family. Scratch me going into culinary arts. Then I try to get scholarships and bursaries so that they don't have to pay too much for my schooling, seeing how we're not the richest of families. I finished this year without asking for a single penny for university, and I aimed for the stupid 80 because I wanted to impress you guys and continue going to school without having to ask for money (because I ALWAYS get stupid comment about me using money. Well excuuuuuuuuse me for being the youngest and the ONLY one without a job. My other sister does not count because she has a million jobs. Sorry for not being the most brilliant of people). And all I get is "Try Harder". I am the only one out of my sisters who has gotten enough money from other sources that my parents don't have to pay. I am the only one out of us who has even gotten a renewed scholarship. I am the only one out of us who has had to go three hours away and come home all of three times in the past year. Maybe the reason why I never bothered to come home more often was because it was just that much better AWAY from this.

I know it sounds bad, but coming home has not been what people make it out to be. Being at school made me occupied. It took me away from all the people being LOUD at home. It took me away from being the middle person between my two sisters, and away from the frowny faces that my dad made often. I got to do what I want. I didn't have that one sister telling me what to do ALL THE TIME. I come home, and I get regulations on when I can use the computer. I am freakin' nineteen already, let me do what I want to. I often wish I was back in K-town starting school again. At least that way I would't be facing the constant disappointment, and the constant jokes made at my expense about my stupidity and my incompetence.